STOP THAT SONG FOR A MOMENT!
feelin rather emo unstable frustrated MIXED UP...

the world seems so complicated.
people seem so fake. is thr any1 tt i can trust?
life seems so systematic. too systematic tt it becomes plain & rigid.

there WERE so many things tt made me happy. but now it's different...

# l!>uno> is longer a place tt i c warm and welcoming. it's DARK, with many untold secrets & freaks ard the corner hu may juz stab in u the back(perhaps even in ur face). sumhow even the sweetest memories seem to b corrupted by the complex nature of this organization. the effort, the time, the relationships.. they all seem so TORTUROUS now. i abhor the HYPOCRISY! 酸甜苦辣? oh sure.. i think it shud b changed to 酸甜苦辣 i'm SURE we go thru HARDSHIP TOGETHER, n UNDERSTAND each other.. SO SURE.. blehx! i really dun wanna freakin giv a dam anymore. juz leave me out of it! curse me, scold me, slap me, bash me! but i'm seriously sick and tired of playing this game of "BLUFF!" in reality..

# also, as we(4J) work towards tt outstanding class award, i c how we do not deserve the title. outstanding class tt is made up of b*tches, cliques & a whole lot of backstabbing? oh juz stick ur heads into the toilet bowl n flush it a million times! i'm really gettin irritated by how ppl in the class complain abt certain actions by others but PRETEND to enjoy it. lyk HELLO, DROP THE ACT! in the end when the truth comes out, ppl becum outright rivals. lyk wad the hell is wrong with these sadists? fancy taking pleasure in life by HATING others. cant u juz live life sweet n simple? gosh it's disgusting. x.X

# so our tale began 2 years ago, when we still so simple n innocent. we had fan tgt, shared the joy & even made a pact to rmb each other FOREVER. shudn't FOREVER be at least 10years? coz sumhow i think we have forgotten how to TREASURE n defined FOREVER in the wrong way. i was juz gettin ready to come clean with u'al, n let u ppl noe the REAL me. i was so into letting this gang stay tgt forever. BUT wad is happening now is totally against our initial plan. WHY? why r we giving each other chances, n in the long run letting it snowball into a big disaster? shudn't frens b true to each other? yes, compromise is the key. that, i know. but compromise to the extent of intolerance? i really wish we can clear things up. i dun care if the truth hurts, coz i've had enough with all this denial. if it has to b goodbye, then let it be. make it snappy, make it clean. (thou wad i really want is the continuance of our sweet tale of love)


my unpredictable future...

# i hate the way school condemns poly students. thr's nth wrong with entering a poly. ok mayb thr's sumting wrong with the ATTITUDE. but tt's only for a minority of LAZYBUMS who dun really give a dam abt their long future ahead. i believe no1 in the right mind would choose to ROT for his whole life.. blehx! JC is definitely a NO-NO for me.. either POLY, or str8 into U. i dun really care wad ppl say. STUPID? USELESS? GOOD-FOR NTH? WHATEVER MAN!

# besides that, i've had enough with suppressing that fact within me. some think it's funny. some poke fun at it. others discriminate and condemn it to hell. CURSE all of these ppl! go face the wall and reflect upon ur actions. it's not easy to b lik tt, esp in tis country. cant u juz empathize with my situation? blehh!!! .. / .- -- / --. .- -.-- (get it?)



*op hlleaj ! 'n a^ol !
but it can never happen...