past 2 days were really tiring. 38 consecutive hours without sleep. o.O which left me lyk totally =.=zzZ.

loads of tings happened during council selectn camp. n i guess i learnt alot. =)
bout tt previous post. it's really sum emotional times tt i believe most of us hafta battle with. it's totally a natural ting.. it's an awful feeling, but the key point is lookin at it frm a different perspective n squeezin the happy essence out it. =D sounds lyk sum empty words? well tt's coz it's for a fact EASIER SAID THAN DONE. dang i feel refreshed aft tokkin it out n getting advised on wad to do.
thanx, coach daniel. n sorry for spending 1hr of ur midnite time.

so wad if tings screwd up? so wad if i did tings wrongly? so wad if U criticize me?
yes there r tings which i screwed up n did it the wrong way, but it's all in the past. i acknowlede my mistakes, but i'm not gonna be brought down by em. i learn frm my mistakes n seek not to commit em in the future. as for u, u r juz a complainer. 80% of wad u say is groundless n do not need to b registered in any1's mind. as for tt RECENT comment, i sincerely thank you for letting me realise myself further, thou i noe most of the time it's outta my control.


lessons learnt, tings to keep in mind (for myself. x))
- do not get sucked into the past, it can nv b changed. but instead, tink abt the present n the future, how u can make tings beta thru the lessons learnt.
- whenever u receive comments or criticisms, keep it at one arm's length away. evaluate it OBJECTIVELY, den decide on wad to do wif it.
- self-awareness is the very 1st step. after u understand urself, ur nature n style, the 2nd step comes in. u need to know how to use ur style advantageously.
- everything in life is never black or white. it's the perspective from which u look at it, & how u manage it. for example, a weakness is a character trait u use to a disadvantage.


jiajie, nevertheless i thank u for the reminder. n all the best for the future. i believe you can do it.



& when u stumble upon here once agn, i hope u noe My Wish.
jus those stupid emo stuff...

stupidly, i cried...
i feel so damn lousy inside. i've not been evryting well. ppl r dislyking me, n slowly i'm losing myself too. i've ruined council, i'm sorry. it really pricks me to receive comments on how inefficient, disorganized n unprofessional my batch had been. & i hate it when there r internal conflicts, rivalries & disharmony. so wad if there's comm unity? it nv dawned upon me how much a failure i've been for the inability to bring out the true display of "one council family". the situation nv ever improved. & as for meetings, it's such a disgrace not being able to chair n organize the meetings well. we had been distracted & unproductive. there was nv a single meeting that turned out well, n i hate myself for tt. Camps were also very much of disasters. unproductive meetings led to lousy camps, which resulted in lower commitment levels.
i'm sick & tired of ppl complaining to me how lousy tings r, n i'm frustrated further evrytime there's a sec4 meeting.
Evryone will feel weak & helpless at sum pt in time, so do i. but hu can i confide into? I've lost so many of my frens thru tis council journey - ASG, Scouts, classmates n sklmates. ASG is no longer a place i can pour out my worries n go wild. Scouts haf been putting so much pressure, n to an extent even condemn me. where can i let my thots out? i cant possibly tell other councillors. sec4s will tink tt i'm incapable. sec2s n 3s will definitely lose trust n respect. i hate this. there is juz no place, & no one that i can confide into.
hu understands what i'm experiencing?
hu noes the stress that i haf?
hu can sense the disappointment i haf in myself?
no one understands.

honestly, i regret. i regret choosing n walking tis path 1 yr ago.
if given a 2nd chance, i would most probably choose something else.
i'm so sorry.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to.
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
you never need to carry more than you can hold.
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too.
Yeah, this, is my wish.

- My Wish by Rascal Flatts


how more useless can i get?
Everything I Want To Be by Save Ferris

I find myself
I'm just awastin' my time away
No matter what I do
It always ends up the same
One minute moves
Into the next
My life was simple
But now it's complex
And it doesn't seem to mean anything at all
And everything I want to be
Is just another silly dream, you see
But I'll keep dreaming just the same

Sometimes it's hard to be me
When people stand in my way
I get so easily discouraged
Well, what can I say
They try to mess you up
They try to push you around
They'll do anything
To bring you down

I'm not gonna be
Stuck in mediocrity
When everybody's trying to bring me
Back down to reality
Oh, why can't they see
Just how much this means to me
Maybe one day I'll be special

Your dreams are special to you
But maybe others don't care
It brings you down
When you find them disregarded
And when you're out on your own
It's hard to make yourself stay
And finish up what it was
That you once started

I'm not gonna be
Taken down that easily
When everybody's trying to tell me
What I'm gonna have to be
Oh, why can't they see
Just how much this means to me
Maybe one day I'll be special
I'll be special

It means nothing
It means everything
It means something to me
What you tryin' to say
I'm not gonna play
In this little game
That you have created for me
You had your chance to do
What you needed to
And now it's time for me
To step right up and
Spin that wheel
This time's for real

It's not gonna work this time
Cuz in the end it's going to be mine
There's no need for me to stay
Cuz everything is gonna go
My way
My way, my way
My way
My way, my way, my way


it's not that easy to be me.
dun ever start criticising unless u prove urself to be beta than me.
it'a been a Nong Nong time since i blogged. actually is not i didn't blog, but my internet connection very unstable, evrytime publish post den suay suay disconnect. pfft!!

anw.. past few days were really bz with rehearsals n prep for family day (which was on sat).. n it turned out rather well...

family day...
sat morning supposed to report at 7.30 in skl, but i overslept n reached skl only at 8.30. O.o LOL. many of the sec4s were already there, many prac'ing dance n others being briefed for ECP games...

den at 9.30, the other councillors came tothe concourse as well.. it was sad to c the lousy not-so-good attendance. =( anw, we did safety briefing n stuff, n headed to ECP..

i was a station master for the ECP games.. n the bad ting is.. I'M AT THE END OF ECP! i actually had to walk all the way to the end, to my station at a pavillion.. basically my stn was MURDERER! but it was more lyk "guru bear" (if i m rite.. O.O lol).. sorta messed the game up for the 1st grp tt came. =X but i will consider the other 2 grps successful. =D

aft i got back to skl, it was not long b4 we had to start preparing for the steamboat cum bbq & finale nite.. this was when all the trouble started coming in.. when we got to the canteen, there was no power. n we had no charcoal. coz of tt we had to push the schedule back.. blehx! but at least it still happened. yay! =)

1 word to describe the bbq. SMOKY. LMAO XD the whole canteen looked as if it was on fire la.. goodness.. n due to the pushback, the finale nite was also affected.. finale nite was a great success, thou it had to b shortened.. and evryting ended ard 11... but the sec4s stayed back to clean the canteen up... sum even stayed overnite.. =X

k.. tt's the condensed version of family day...
n i m so not gd at blogging.. mayb i shud delete my blog.. hmm... randomness


"每个人都拥有一个梦
即使彼此不相同
能够与你分享
无论失败成功都会感动"
wOOhOO! tml's the last paper..

PHYSICS PAPER 1.. oh yes!!! absolutely lovelay! =D

n there's giving out flyers aft tt.. how sickening thotful n meaningful. xP movie aft tt is so gonna rock! i mean lyk c'mon... ASG leh.. the absolute LOVE! =D


eye-candy galore! xP
#2, adorable hunk
#4, inspiring doc
#5, sunshine smile
#11, cool with attitude
#13, pure innocence
#14, sweet connections

stop playing with me, mr. temptation...
The Last American Virgin is a sexual adult-themed comedy cum romance movie..

such a pity for Gary.. & Karen is a total bitch freak. pfft!


LOL.. i shudn't b tokkin abt tis Adult rated movie... or at least not at tis time of the day.. OOPs.
xP
Amaths paper today...

GONE CASE


physics: knowledge of nature, fundamental laws of the universe.
tml's the test!
Stand by Rascal Flatts

You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless
Like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright, you'll be alright

Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you stand, then you stand

Life's like a novel
With the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon
With only one way down
Take what you're given before its gone
Start holding on, keep holding on

Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you stand, yeah then you stand

Everytime you get up
And get back in the race
One more small piece of YOU
Starts to fall into place

Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you stand

Then you stand
Yeah, THEN YOU STAND.


it's all part of learning & growing up
screwed chinese up today...
ok finally i've got tt ounce of the exam fever.. woohoo! i feel the stress! finally! =D

ok tt was juz pure retardedness.. WADEVA!

today i had SS.. as always, i did not complete the paper. but tis time got improvement ok.. now is didn't do 1 and a half qns.. last time was 2 qns. it's an improvement!!! =D u ppl shud really look on the bright side on tings man.. as said in "i not stupid too"... "少看他们的缺点, 多看他们的优点..." or sumting v similar... yep. =) ANW.. it's the 1st time i felt so full of content info for SEQ.. another improvement! yay!

ok.. now i've gotta get tt exam fever back..
STRESS STRESS STRESS!
i m feeling stressed!!!
stress, here i come!


DELIGHTFUL SEC1s & 2s:
3 days more to FREEDOM & PLAY

LOVELY SEC3s:
8 days more to FUN & JOY

ZESTful SEC4s:
8 days more to BREAK-TIME
& we get back to studying for PRELIMS aft tt.


btw... chem is a science where A doesn't appear for me.
Misery by Good Charlotte

Take a look around, don't you see it?
See that you are the only real face in the room
No one here has a clue what you're feeling
Don't feel bad, keep your sadness alive

Look at all these happy people, living their lives
Look at all these plastic people, theres nothing inside
Look at all these shallow people, telling their lies
Look at all these empty people, people

Don't you know that misery loves company?
Yeah I heard, that misery was looking for me
Happiness is a face that don't look good on me
Yeah I heard, that misery comes looking for me
Woah, misery's my company
Woah, misery is looking for me

Looking for me

The hands are up now, everybody's singing
Everybody's moving, they've programmed their feelings
They're synchronizing and criticizing
Don't feel bad, keep your sadness alive

Look at all these happy people, living their lives
Look at all these plastic people, they're dying inside
Look at all these shallow people, telling their lies
Look at all these empty people, people

Don't you know that misery loves company?
Yeah I heard, that misery was looking for me
Happiness is a face that don't look good on me
Yeah I heard, that misery comes looking for me
Woah, misery's my company
Woah, misery is looking for me

Don't you know this misery loves me?
Don't you know this misery loves me?
Don't you know this misery loves me?
Don't you know this misery loves me?

Loves me

So you're tired of running
You're tired of hurting
You're tired of living in their lie
You're tired of listening
You're tired of hurting
Keep your sadness alive, alive, alive

Don't you know that misery loves company?
Yeah I heard, that misery was looking for me
Happiness is a face that don't look good on me
Yeah I heard, that misery comes looking for me

Don't you know, misery loves company?
Yeah I heard, that misery was looking for me
Happiness is a face that don't look good on me
Yeah I heard, that misery comes looking for me
Woah, misery's my company
Woah, misery is looking for me
curiosity kills the cat...

how i wished i nv got myself entangled in this mess.

ignorance is bliss!

knowledge is power, & power corrupts.


one of life's sucky moments... blehx!
SEC4s:
1 day 2hrs & 10mins to MYEs!
us pitiful souls... =(


SEC1s, 2s & 3s:
4 days 2hrs & 10mins to MYEs!
u lucky asses


omgoodness! tt was juz oh-so-lovely. x)
cool, cute & charming MR. W. my honey glazed, sugar-coated eye-candy! x)

skl today... didn't felt lyk skl. LOL. how contradicting.. i'm so lame lame lame. XD

1st perdiod Elect Goeg. bullet train period. ZOOM... n it's all over.

den it was double chem period.. went thru the air n water ws.. aft tt watched sum documentary on the end of the world... actually is the program screened on CNA.. bout how human's action affect Air, Land and Water... n i cant stand the racist ppl in 4J! wad's wif larfing at the BLACKS? huh? v funny meh? blehx! anw me n huiling were discussing how we can help by starting with ourselves... n we came to a conclusion tt we should juz DIE. LOL. wadeva la.. so lame.

SS started out as usual. "i'll start of with sumting interesting.. show u'al a funny video.." or sumting lyk tt.. the rest of the period was mainly on revision.

next up... PE! did a lil running round the indoor stadium coz it rained n the outdoors was WET. aft tt did the usual PULL-UP TRAINING.. but tis time i did not do any at all. XD coz mr. chai came down n asked us to go into the stadium b4 i could do it. wahahaha.. then we did shuttle run. we were supposed to prac on our turning but apparently i only had 2 tries n i failed both. O.o 1st time i missed the wood block... 2nd time i got hold of it, but DROPPED IT immediately aft tt. =_= dang! mr chai let us off for free time.. but sum gals continued prac'ing shuttle run, so i joined em... i ran. successfully completed 1st cycle. but 2nd cycle i dropped the woodblock AGAIN. DANG! so i tried it again... n YES! FINALLY i managed to complete shuttle run SUCCESSFULLY.. but it was 10.3s, which was the highest grade for B. lol. wadeva la... XD

EL aft recess. went thru compre corrections...

double HCl was totally wasted on file arranging. unbelievable? BELIEVE IT! XD

assembly was pure Zzzzz for me... i mean wad can u expect frm sum1 hu takes no interest in chinese... o.O oops. xP

omg. looks lyk i only rmb bout PE the best. XD WAHAHAHAHAz...

the words tgt with the sound simply makes me MELT. x)
HAPPY MAYDAY! =D

i suddenly have the urge to learn tapdancing/stepdancing.

lol. randomness. XD