term 3 CA report = SCREWED

3 - 3 - 7[CH] - 5 - 7[L] - 8[L] - 1 - 1

WTH la.. haix.. total the neceassary grades n u get 22. RAR!

17 > 12 > 22

haix...

-------------------------------

o n pardon me for not updating... coz the past few times i tried to publish my post, always got problem... pissed me off sia... yep..


today's the paper ones for both EL n HCl. n oso a horribly cold day. i mean lyk i was sitting under tha fan for the exams la. wth

i tink i did both terribly. =S
seemed lyk i wrote the english essay wif p6 standard. RAR.

as for the chinese... as least i managed to write more than 1 n a half pages for both sections. ok i noe it's short, but at least i past the 1 n one-third mark of last yr. lol. anw... stiu tink i'll do badly, since my standard isn't even there. haix...

aft tt had cca meeting... rather pathetic... tings r getting bad... sumhow la...

slacked in council for a long time aft the meeting. took a nap there n got frozen. LOL. it was so cold can... Brrr... XD

ok, tt's it for now.


if u wish for it to last, den dun bring the CHUAs into the picture.
STUPID BLOGGER. lost connection n lost my post at the same time. FREAK. n tis is not the 1st time. RAR.



feel so out of place. so lost...
it juz snapped. n u very well noe y.

u tried to hide it frm me, u denied me of the facts. n since tis is the way u want it, den so b it. i HATE it when ppl LIE to me, hide tings frm me, or DENY me of knowing certain tings. dun treat me for a fool, coz even if u tink i'm 1, i may juz b PRETENDING. HATE ME FOR THE PRETENCE, HATE ME FOR DENYING too. i dun care, for now. im so insignificant to u. tt tiny speck of dust, which causes so much irritation, now tt's me, n how u c me as. i noe it, i sense it, n i FEEL IT. i'm not a freakin retard.

u dun haf to care. u dun haf to bother no more. it's over, ALL OVER!



i NEVER EVER wanted it end tis way.
my life's DRAMA DAY.


today's a screwed BAD day. blehx!!!

1st period, hcl. screwed SPOILT it myself. coz apparently i'm a LAZY PIECE O SHIT. n ya the main reason being i HATE chinese badly. RAR. juz lookin at chinese characters IRKs me la. wad's the big issue here? well it's coz i did not hand in essays... which usually take me 3hours MINIMUM per piece. DAMN I REALLY HATE CHINESE! =X

so tis links to the HANDFONE confiscation. guess dun need to spell the link out, coz it's freakin OBVIOUS wad happened. yea... but tt's not a bad ting. on the contrary, i tink it's GREAT, honestly. coz there's much lesser BURDENS. no fone, ppl cannot sms me n tell me stuff tt stresses me out. WAHAHA. n i dun get to read it. WHEE! xP i feel so evil... but seriously, it feels alot lyk a break, in a way la...

i cried aft the lesson ended. ok it's not coz of the handfone. but rather it's coz of loads of tings... the harsh words frm the teacher? tt led to the prick of my conscience. dunno la... juz sorta weird.. loads of thots n emotions flooded my mind at tt time la... mainly sad n even 1 thot of suicide. =S tis is not an emotional breakdown rite? i hope not. lol. o wadeva...

now onto the nx BIG THING. which was the skipping of CHEMISTRY lesson. =X DEFIANCE against the teacher, tt's how serious it can get. yea... no courage to stand out. no moral courage to speak of the truth. now i hafta bear the consequences... haix...

basically it was lyk tt... we were supposed to haf tis chem test today... which made us feel so cheated, coz we were told tt the previous test was the last 1. n moreover, the class majority dislyk the NIE trainee teacher. so we sorta deliberately PON'd half his lesson, refusing to go bac to class... n ya.. PROBLEMS arised. problems which juz may lead to BIGGER problems. haix... dun wish to tok abt la... hope tml can clear tis up, even a lil will do. haix...

hopes the class understand oso ba.. =


i decided to hold on,
until the last strand snaps n all hopes r gone...
i sense it... o yes i really do...

i thank u for wad u haf done, the chances u gave me, n the care u showed. i sincerely n honestly appreciate wad u haf done, n now, deep in my heart i hope tt tings would really change. i do not long for it to happen anymore, but rather, i m satisfied for wad happened in those days. as a matter of fact, tis shud haf ended a long long time ago. but i juz forced it to b put on "life support". u deserve a break now, aft workin so hard.

tis period of cold air between us, has finally let me understood certain tings. i wun b selfish no more. GO! lead ur happy, bright n colourful life without me. i haf absolutely no rights to deprive u of tis great opportunity to enjoy the world ard u. perhaps u already stepped out of the restriction circle, i dun noe. all i want u to noe is tt i'm really thankful for wad u haf done.


the last ting i wanna hear frm u is goodbye. but i guess im juz deceiving myself yet again.
TIRED...

came back frm damai sec n reached home at ard 11pm. coz there was Bedok District Campfire there. i'm so tired now...

ok.. so today aft i came home frm 2.4, i rushed out agn to skl for meeting. it was, as usual, slow n draggy. had the meeting until ard 2.40, den i walked home wif minhui & yongsheng IN THE RAIN. LOL. we got wet, lyk DUH. x)

aft i reached home, got tis naggin n talkin of senses into me by my mum. o wadeva. den at ard 5.15, i left home agn, to go to skl. tis time is to meet up b4 goin Bedok District Campifire (BDC) @ Damai Sec. n AS USUAL, tings DRAGGED AGAIN. coz the juniors were supposed to fall in at 5.45, but there will always b 1 or a few hu will b exceptionally late. in the end we left skl at ard 6.20. =_=

BDC... hmm... not really tt GREAT la. n it totally did not seem lyk it was BDC, coz there were only approximately 10 grps of scouts n 1 group of guides. n out of the 10, ard 3 grps were CADET scouts. lyk omg so small-scale la. o o o.. n the funniest ting is, there was tis skl frm KATONG district. x) ROTFLMAO. n they call it BEDOK district campfire. spastic...

aft whole campfire we had to help em untie the gateway which we helped em construct. helped out a lil more too la... ok. the nx part i type might b a lil EMO...
as we(AH falcon scouts) untied the structure, without the differentiation of the levels, it juz felt so touching. it's rare to c a troop being united workin on 1 structure. n oso, as we untied, i thot of alot of tings... mainly tings on my own level. it's lyk we take em for tis PLC term, we get to noe em, forge relationships wif em, train em, n even to the extent of bonding wif em. but aft our term, it's FAREWELL, n i really mean a goodbye for good. evryting will b erased in a matter of days. it's juz saddening. if only i could c em grow all the way until they bcum the new batch of PLC. it's unexplainable la. haix...

Y? y muz there always b an end to all good tings?
i guess dreamland is the one n only place for sweetness n happiness...



if i do dream, i hope it's an everlasting n neverending 1...
OH YEA OH YEA!
2.4km RUN is OVER! woohoo!

ok.. basically it sucked. coz we had to run as ONE batch. meaning sec1s to sec4s guys n gals ALL TOGETHER. it was so pressurizing la. imagine if a lower sec guy ran faster than a upper sec guy. or mayb even a lower sec GAL run faster than upper sec GUY. den it'll b so embarrassing la omg...

when it started... i was sumwhere in the middle of the whole group la. as we ran behind the resort there(sumwhere ard the 1st quarter there la), overtook many ppl... n i saw GLEN xiao di in front. den i thot "wah... if i run slower than sec1, will b so diu lian can." so i ran faster to overtake him.. as i passed him, i accidentally knocked into him, n frm wad he told me, he got DEMORALISED aft tt knock. oops sorry. xP

ran on... den saw tianxun, my cca junior. he was IN FRONT of me! tried to overtake him.. but couldn't, coz i too lousy le. xP n the nx moment, MY MOTIVATION ran past me, n was juz in front. omg omg omg. MY motivation!!! x) wahahaha...

ran until nearly the end, i decided to sprint la. n i did. XD den juz b4 the end pt to collect the number card, JUN HAO was juz bside me. so we both passed tt pt nearly at the same time, n mr chai said "run here! (in between him n mr lim)" =_= WTH... ok nvm... it didn't really matter la. lol. got 14th in position. n YES, there were lower sec guys hu were faster than me. so embarrassing. =_=

aft 2.4 walked home wif glen xiao di... yup.

ok tt sums up my WONDERFUL morning of the 2.4km run. =)

later goin out to skl at 12pm for meeting... den come home aft tt.
at 5pm goin out to skl again to meet up b4 goin bedok district campfire @ damai sec.
wad a day it's gonna b. lol.


toodles~


spontaneously combust =)
3J GOT INTO TEACHERS' DAY CONCERT!!! =D


ok so our efforts paid off.. a BIG THANK YOU n our deepest APPRECIATION to catherine for puttin in so much effort! o great.. so i'll haf to look lyk tis GEEK on teachers' day. LOL.




i'm becoming doubtful...
today was a weird weird day. x)

reached skl, immediately rushed the chi compre... but only managed to do 1 qns. XD

so 1st period was SS. mr ong went thru the structure of answering SEQ. n i wasn't listening AT ALL. coz i was doin the compre all the while. XD got back the test.. 9/25 meaning 36%. ok. it was EXPECTED! o wadeva. i hatedislyk SS!

2nd period... PHYSICs. mr tam was UBER late. coz of FOTO-TAKING! n o yea, mr tam is cool, coz he's lyk so PRACTICAL(in a good way la =)). wahahaz.

n the 3rd period comes! HCl. HATED it. but not TODAY! x) coz teachers' day is comin soon, n we r goin for the auditions for the concert! =D spastic... XD ok.. so cat spent lyk 20mins explaining the "storyline" to the class, using me as 1 of her "supporting actor" aft tt is the lesson bla bla bla... x)

aft recess was the rehearsal for the teachers' day performance. 2 straight hours of ENJOYMENT! woohoo! xP

chem test aft skl. was absolutely "BRILLIANT". tink i'll "PASS WIF FLYING COLOURS" agn. haix... dun wanna tok abt it. blehx!

cca... as usual... my own lousy performance. yada yada yada. it's hard to b a senior, trust me. o wadeva.
i shall proceed on wif the EXCITING aft-cca time. x)

rushed of to meet the small portion of ASG. changed into BLACK shirt n jeans den rushed off le. n so sorry huiling for makin u sprain ur ankle. partially my fault la. anw.. we alighted at city hall, den we walk walk walk, in the end split. jiesi n jiemin go buy dinner. binli, huiling n me went to chop places. x) we were lyk walkin walkin walkin den we finally decided spot. we 3 sat down n waited... n we waited for a while... binli decided to go n pei jiesi n jiemin. so left me n huiling... time went by. we waited. the crowd grew bigger. n we waited even longer. n the crowd got even bigger. den we were lyk 2 selfish ppl sitting on the floor takin up so much space, coz we spread our bags ard. x) shan't go into details. wahaha.

we sat there for lyk 55 mins... den at 8.55, evry1 tt was sitting stood up. o.O n we were lyk eating halfway. LOL. so we packed a lil n stood too. n den it STARTED! =DD n to our surprise, half of the fireworks were blocked due to our poor location. lyk aft stayin there for 1 hr le. =_= so we shifted ard until we got to the best place we could find. but apparently the best place wasn't tt gd afterall. there was tis freakin tree rite smack in the centre of our view. =_=. ok but it was beta than the previous 1. the display of fireworks was spectacular... beautiful n captivating! XD

ok.. n today's the busiest fri la. y the hell do i haf so many calls n sms'es on fri aft cca. it's the 1st time lor. as usual i had to settle cca stuff... all the messages for my lvl. n den halfway during the display, a new councillore called me n asked for the crime prevention roadshow details. den hanlu sms'd me n asked bout initiation camp stuff. liting oso asked me whether got meeting tml. den on my way back shi ying called me n told me bout tml's rehearsal. =_= wad a day.



cca agn tml. but it's PT n stock check for my lvl. hope i perform beta. =


i sincerely do hope so...
i'm so sorry...

sorry for the bad n selfish attitude.

haix... y m i alwaes doin the wrong tings n makin ppl unhappy? dumb me.




i feel so inferior...
yest was 2.4km run...

my dad drove me to ECP, coz i had to bring my bike there (doin duty as a sweeper, "chasing" the last guy) was super EARLY, so my dad brought me to mcdonalds to buy breakfast b4 goin to carpark D1. reached the carpark at 6.20am n there was only 2 sec1 guys at the bus-stop. x) stayed at the bus-stop until i saw annabelle. coz it was so awkward to b the only psn wif a bike. wahaha...

slacked ard the field for sum time, settling with ny n annabelle which groups to take.. den mr. chua asked for the ppl doin the pledge n holding the flag... but in the end they skipped it n proceeded wif the sec4 guys run. =_= i was supposed to do the sec4, 2 & 1 guys... but tt daryl took my bike n went 1 round juz b4 the sec4 guys started.. in the end i had to do sec 1, 2 n 3 guys.

1st was sec2 guys. it started n aft a few metres, hong zhe(or at least tt's wad i tink his name is)juz went to 1 side n sat there, claiming tt sum1 pushed him. appeared lyk he hurt his foot. but other than tt, all v enthu, even the last guy was running most of the time.. turned out quite well...
2nd to follow was the sec1 guys. the slowest guy was asthmatic, so he couldn't really run.. n there tis weird guy juz in front. he was lyk running for 10metres, den he would walk another 10 metres. it was a continuous cycle... so funny sia XD. when i reached abt the 9th station, i decided to come down of my bike n run wif the slowest guy, to giv him motivation. n yea, i looked retarded.. havin a bike, n instead of riding it, i was PUSHING it. but it's ok i guess, since it actually helped a lil.
then the last tt i did duty for was the sec3 guys. tis time i did wif annabelle. now here comes the real problematic 1. apparently there was 2 guys wif real bad attitude. n they were michael n weixian.. was so freakin irritated by them la... michael kept goin "u can juz go without us, coz we intend to take our time..." bla bla bla... n they wanted to set a record of 3omins. WTH. when they were between the 9 n 10 stn, the gals actually caught up wif them la. den i really gave up le, din wanna follow em any further.

slacked at the beach wif jiesi n huiling aft 2.4.. den we slowly walked our way to bayshore tt side.. coz tt's the route i take to go home, n both of them decided to follow me there.

came home.. took a nap... woke up n had dinner at ard 6+. den i went out to bedok interchange to get the ingredients for makin chocolate chip cookies!

baked the cookies until ard 2am in the morning. did sum washing up n went to bed at ard 4. actually is coz i did sum reading b4 goin to sleep. x)




today... s'pore's 41st national day. n also andrew's bdae.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDREW!

slacked rotted the whole day at home... =nth else to add, coz it had been an extremely BORING day.


o o o.. n the book i'm reading is COOL! it's titled "life strategies for teens" by Jay McGraw. wahaha... here's a section quoted frm the 44th page.

"Oh, sure, in school you are taught when the War of 1812 was and you're taught who's buried in Grant's tomb. But are you ever taught something important like what to do when your parents yell at you? You are taught how to do algebra, but are you taught what to say to yourself when you hear kids laughing behind your back? You are taught the scientific names of ten different plants in biology, but are you given a similar list of ten different ways to build your confidence? Did anyone ever teach you how to be heard by your parents, how to manage your anger, or how to create independence in your life?"

wahaha... it may seem stupid to some, but i tink it's darn cool la.. ohmygosh. LOL. XD



thnx so much for askin... =)
wad a bad start to a supposedly happy day...

as usual, mon's 1st period was the COMMON TEST period. n the subject tested today was BIOLOGY! turned out to b quite a disaster for me... n tt's bad enuf...

nx up was EL period... which was apparently replaced wif Social Studies for our TEST!(yet another 1!!!) it was juz MARVELLOUS... 2 structured ESSAY qns. notice the highlight on ESSAY? well tt's coz my essay was only made up of 8 lines. 8 lines of rather large sized font = 12 marks? tt's lyk so IMPOSSIBLE! okok tt's for the 1st qns. 2nd qns.. din manage to complete it. haix... now tt's a true DISASTER... =
no chinese today! now tt's sumting to b happy abt (at least for me =P)



tml's 2.4km run!!! =D
but it's not exactly gonna b 2.4km running for me.. x) it's gonna b 7.2km bike riding! coz 3 batches of 2.4km ma... LOL. o wait... i m not supposed to b happy. coz i hafta carry my own bike to n fro... n it's gonna b 7.2km!!! oh gosh.. my ass is so gonna hurt aft tml. XD




if only it could last forever...
my 100th post!!!

nth really great abt it.. juz shows how seldom i blog... =S


realised tt i've been procrastinating alot.. haix.. such SLACKY attitude. =

shall not waste anymore time tinkin of wad to type le.. gotta rush thru my hw n study for the tests tml...
toodles~




the ever-changing reality...
YES! i m juz so freakin JEALOUS of it! blehx!

WTH. n wad's wif tt attitude man? ignore me? DENY my existence?
yeayea... save those excuses for sum1 else. i dun give a damn care!

n i so HATE liars... lemme tell u. i mean wad i say, n i can do it too. dun play play wif me i tell u... or u will defnitely regret... o, n if u r regrettin bout wad u said, den too bad, coz it might juz happen anytime. HAH!

i'm so sorry... but ya, tis is juz how i HONESTLY feel. n if it offends u, juz scram...







ok sorry for being so harsh... well.. it's juz tt i dun wish to live in DENIAL anymore.. i mean lyk.. each day would b filled wif lies n hidden secrets. n tt's juz so uncomfortable to me...
gimme the facts, tell me the truth. let me noe wad really happened.. n it's perfectly fine if it pisses me off... at least it's beta den me finding out aft sum time...

ok, mayb we shud juz forget it... i m juz being too demanding n selfish. ah WADEVA! blehx!


jealousy burns in me, as i look @ tt object...
my lols to u arent Larfin Out Loud all the time...
they r usually used coz i dun really noe how to react to wad u said...

they r the cover-ups for my jealousy, anger & depression. it's my mask...
i guess i juz carn take a step back n let certain tings go.. i'm so sorry.


topic of the day: PORN STAR!!!

let's get down to terms of practicality.
RICH?
filthy rich?
or literally "FILTHY" rich?

wad abt the type of attention gotten?
famous n glamourous?
or juz pure humiliated?

matters concerning the body n belief...
unhealthy?
impure n unholy?

ok... these r juz random thots in my head today. XD



i choose to live in denial...